It seems I find myself wondering, and reflecting on my life, each year around Christmas. My eyes always feel with tears of joy, sorry, and laughter. I hug my children a little tighter, I cherish their little corks, and become less "uptight" about the rules around my house. Every year, the story of Jesus gets me. It isn't just the story though, it is the whole thing. His whole Journey. Then I remember my friends whose children have gone before them, and my heart swells with tears in a different way.

It amazes me how we can love so deeply, so raw, so completely, in so many different circumstance. How the human heart can love so much, and so completely fill us.

I am grateful this holiday season, for so many many things, but most of all, for the joy, and laughter, and pain of the years. I am a better person because of it. My life is richer.

May I always remember this.

Good things + Small bad = chaos??

How can it be that one bad thing can overshadow the good things of the day?

Lord help not dwell on the tantrum in the back of the car on the way home from great family time and focus on the great things that happened today. Wipe my mind clear and help me handle the grumpy things with more grace. Amen

Spider!!!!!

Today my daughters and I battled a spider... Rylee cried, hay held perfectly still.. and I screamed and slapped my face and rubbed my hands everywhere until I knew the spider was gone... then it jumped to haylee... ry, very bravely said "MOM! its on haylee!!!" When it jumped off of haylee I squished it!

I am SO proud of us!!!!

By the way.. .it was between a nickle and a quarter size..

Snakes!

Last night at Petsmart, my girls got to play with their first ball python! hay was all over it! Ry, well.. she just liked stroking it ;) Either way I'm stoked and proud!

Vacuums + Dogs = Clean???

When I first heard of people vacuuming their dogs I thought they were weird, that is until I tried it! Yes, I vacuumed my dogs.. and I can say they loved it! Now instead of barking at the vacuuming and running away from it, they quietly wait their turn.

Now, if I can only get them to sit still for the blow dryer....

Chicken Saute with Caramelized Ginger Sauce - Cooking LIght May 08

Lately, I noticed that I crave more Asian/Chinese/Thai food more than any other food. With that said, I found an old Cooking Light Magazine (May 2008) and had to make their Chicken Saute with Caramelized Ginger Sauce. It definitely is not as difficult as it sounds.

I searched their website, but to no avail. So here is the recipe from the CLM's May 2008 magazine:

Chicken Saute with Caramelized Ginger Saute

Yields: 4 cups

1 Tablespoon (Tbsp) Canola oil (I tried Grapeseed Oil and it was too hot. Definitely use Canola! :))

2 Tbsp Sugar

--

1 1/2 Tbsp low-sodium soy sauce

1 teaspoon (tsp) Chile pate with garlic (such as sambal oelek) (I used a pinch of hot pepper flakes and sprinkled a finger of chopped garlic in it)

1 tsp grated fresh ginger

--

3/4 chicken broth

4 (6oz) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, thinly sliced

---

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/8 tsp salt

1. Heat Canola oil in a large non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add sugar to pan; cook 1 minute or until sugar dissolves and is lightly browned.

Combine soy sauce, chili paste, and ginger in a small bowl; add to pan. THIS WILL SPLATTER AND SIZZLE!!!!

Add chicken broth, sesame oil, and chicken to pan; cook 5 minutes or until chicken is done; stirring occasionally. Remove chicken from pan with a slotted spoon.

Simmer sauce 10 minutes or until slightly thickened.

Return chicken to pan; toss to coat. Sprinkle evenly with pepper and salt. Taste before adding more salt. I didn't need to.

Serve it over rice, or eat it alone with veggies!

Enjoy! We did :)

10 Pennies For A Dollar

This weekend my husband left for a 3 day 2 night, much needed, guys weekend. So to entice the girls to behave all weekend I gave them 10 pennies each. I instructed each child that if they can be good while dad was gone I would take their 10 pennies and turn it into 4 quarters. See they are trying to save up their money to go on the Merry-Go-Round rides at the Mall and to get ice cream. So I thought this might be a good incentive.

Here were the rules: ever time they fought, screamed at me, or yelled at each other they had to give me 1 penny.

We started Friday morning. The kids earned an extra penny each for sharing the library computer with other kids and leaving the Kids Area without whining. Later, after 2 more stops and 1 store the kids put my words to the test. They had a drag out fight - in the cart - at Costco. I calmly explained the deal again and asked for 1 penny each. Haylee calmly pulled one out of her pocket and placed it in my hand. Rylee fought me for a minute, then understood that I would take 2 pennies if she continued. Then placed her hand in her pocket, pulled out a penny, and calmly placed it in my hand. I then explained that if they were good, they could earn that penny back. They went to bed with 10 pennies.

Saturday was a bit more trying. The 3 stores, 3 stops, and dinner out with Nana and Papa (from Friday) proved to be a bit more exhausting for them than I had planned. While they slept okay, they were grouchy all day! Needless to say, we stayed home most of the day. When we did go out, it was to 2 more store where they lost 1 penny each for not staying with me. BUT they got 2 quarters from Nana and Papa for being good on Friday while we ran our errands :). They went to bed with 9 pennies and 2 quarters.

Today, Haylee woke me up at 12:30am with bot of her ears hurting and with me not feeling 1--% already, were were off to an interesting start. After hitting Jack-In-The-Box for breakfast, the girls got 1 penny each for waiting patiently for the food and saying great prayers! We went into Target to find a specific decongestant for Haylee (everything I had at home failed) and the girls were AMAZING! They both got 1 penny each. Later in the morning we stopped at Safeway for the last few items I had forgotten on Friday. At the store Rylee spotted the balloons and said that Haylee needed one (This was a true statement since they spent most of the morning trying to figure out how to share 1 helium balloon). She got a quarter for her thoughtfulness and kindness and for not getting upset when Mommy told her she couldn't have another balloon.

Once the groceries were put away, the kids handed over their pennies (10 each) and I handed them 4 quarters. The 8 quarters plus the 2 quarters from Nana and Papa, put them over the top! I am happy to announce that we will be going to the Mall next week to ride the Merry-Go-Rounds. :)

Gluten/Wheat Free Doughnuts

Here it is!

Gram's Doughnuts by Joanne Downs

Makes 16+

Need:
2C Sugar
2 teaspoons (tsp) grd cinnamon
4C all-purpose flour (I used Pamela Products Bread and Pizza flour)

1 Tablespoon (Tbsp) baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground ginger (I barely sprinkle any in - or even omit it)
1 tsp ground nutmeg (I barely sprinkle any in)
2 large eggs
1C buttermilk (if you don't have any, you can make it by putting 1 Tbsp white vinegar in 1C milk. Let it sit for 5 minutes).
2 quarts vegetable oil for frying. ( I use canola, because I always have it on hand)

Directions:

1. Mix 1C of sugar and cinnamon in a medium bowl until combined. Set aside.

Wisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, and nutmeg in a large bow. Beat eggs, buttermilk and remaining 1C sugar together in a medium bowl. Make a well in the flour mixture and pour egg/milk mixture into it. Stir together to for a moist sticky dough (The kitchen aid makes easy work of this.)

2. On a heavily floured work surface, roll out the dough into a 14" circle (approx. - just eyeball it :)) and about 1/2 " think. Cut out dough with cookie cutters. IF the cookie cutters stick, lightly dip them in the flour. Gather the scraps and reroll. Continue cutting until all the dough is used.

3. Heat the oil in a large Dutch oven (or Fryer) over medium heat until the oil reaches 350 degrees. Carefully lower doughnuts into the hot oil. After they rise to the surface, wait another minute and turn the donuts over using tongs or the fryer spatula. When the doughnuts are golden brown on both sides (approx 3-4 minutes) remove them from the oil with a slotted spoon and place them on a plate lined with paper towels. Although them to drain for 2-3 minutes and then place them in the sugar/cinnamon mixture and cover. Transfer to another plate to continue cooling.

Serve warm.

---

The girls like a little jam on the side to dip their donuts in. Sean and I like them as is :)

I hope your family enjoys this recipe as much as mine does :)

Churro Recipe (Gluten/Wheat Free)

Here is the recipe for the Churro's I made the other day. Warning: They are incredibly addictive!

I marked my substitutions in parentheses next to the original ingredient.

Churros

Prep & Cook time: 20 minutes

Servings: Makes 12-15

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups flour (I used Pamela Products Bread and Pizza flour - its made from grains and rice)

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons sugar

4 Tablespoons Olive or Sunflower Oil (I used Grapeseed Oil - it cooks the same as olive oil)

1 egg, beaten

sugar for dusting (approx. 1/4c)

ground cinnamon for dusting (approx. 1/4teaspoon - 1/2teaspoon - use judgement)

Oil for deep frying (I use canola)

Directions:

Sift flour, salt and sugar on to a bendable plate or a piece of paper.

Heat1 cup of water in a sauce pan with the oil and bring to a boil.

Pour in the flour mixture and beat with a wooden spoon until the mixture forms a stiff paste. Allow the mixture to cool for 2 minutes

Gradually beat the egg into the flour paste until smooth. Oil a large baking sheet. Sprinkle extra sugar onto a plate and stir in a little cinnamon.

Put the dough into a large piping bag fitted with a 1/2-inch plain piping nozzle. Pipe coils or shapes onto the baking sheet. This DID NOT work for me. I ended up forming the dough into logs with oiled hands. I can see using a spoon and scooping them out of the pot and making logs that way.

Heat 2 inches of oil in a large pan to 336*F, or until the dough sizzles on the surface.

Using a metal, or plastic, spatula, lower several piped shapes into the oil. Cook for about 2 mintues until light golden. Mine were more golden. I noticed, for me, the light golden didn't have the nice fluffy cream center... it was more doughy.

Drain on paper towels then coat with the sugar and cinnamon mixture.

Continue until no more dough is left.

--

I hope you like these as much as we did!

Songs that touch us

In the mist of screaming children this song began to play by David Crowder:

When clouds veil the sun and disaster comes

Oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rise and hope takes flight

Oh my soul, oh my soul, oh my soul

Ever faithful, ever true

You, I know. You never let go

You never let go, You never let go

You never let go

You never let go, You net let go

You never let go

When clouds brought rain and disaster came

Oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rose and hope had flown

Oh my soul, oh my soul, oh my soul

Ever faithful, ever true

You, I know. You never let go

You never let go, You never let go

You never let go,

You never let go, You never let go

You never let go

Oh, my soul overflows

Oh what love, oh what love

Oh, my soul fills with hope

Perfect love that never lets go

You never let go, You never let go

You never let go,

You never let go, You never let go

You never let go

You never let go, You never let go

You never let go

In joy and pain, in sun and rain

You're the same, oh, You never let go

In joy and pain, in sun and rain

You're the same, oh, You never let go

It summed up everything in the past 5 weeks.... God is SO good and Gracious, and Loving... and I am truly blessed that He NEVER lets go.

Thank you Abba for calming my soul.

Preschool, Zoo, Fights with mom

Today God blessed me with HIS strength. Strength to be true to my word. Strength to pull screaming children from the zoo. Strength to walk past another parent with a screaming, crying child and carrying one kicking, hitting, biting child. Strength to get them both into the car. Strength to drive while they screamed. And Grace to pull over and loving say, "That's enough, now." and hug them and help them to calm down.

As the cries faded, and the kids finished their lunch, I thanked God.

I learned today that sometimes being a mom means that praying.

"May the Lord deal with me if anything but death separates you and me."

I have been reading the book of Ruth and a book called The Mother-In_Law Dance (MILD). The MILD references a verse in Ruth where after her husbands death Naomi, mother-in-law, encourages Ruth to return home. Ruth's reply shocked a city (Bethlehem): "Don't urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." (vs 16 and 17).

How different her mind was not only from the women of that time, but also from ours today! Her story has been rolling around in my head lately, esp. in relation to MILD.

Imagine when you got married - or when you marry - not only cleaving to your husband, but moving far away from your own parents and potentially closer to his parents. Now imagine cleaving yourself not only to him, but to his mother and her family. Now that you have pictured ALL of that, and have accepted it, picture losing your husband. With this loss, your mother-in-law, in not so nice words, tells you you can leave now and go home to your parents.

The book of Ruth doesn't say if Ruth and Naomi got along or if Ruth had family to return to. We, readers, only know that Naomi became "very bitter" (vs 20). Knowing this, Ruth still pleaded with Naomi to let her stay. And Ruth stayed. She followed behind her as Naomi returned home to Bethlehem. Ruth knew no one, but still she stayed and took care of her mother-in-law. God rewarded her, she became the great-grandmother of David - King David.

The LOVE and heart of this woman!! I must be honest, I am not sure I would be able to do this. I think of my relationship with my mother-in-law, and while it has improved I wonder if we didn't have children if I would do the same as Ruth.

It took 3 weeks

Its official... three weeks ago the girls got the stomach flu, croup, and Rylee had a sinus infection. The following week croup returned with a vengeance with another stomach flu. The next week they both had bronchitis. Throughout all this I was able to stay healthy. That is until last night. Today I have their head cold.

I think we need to create an immunity pills!

Firsts

For the first time in the three and a half years of being a Mother I felt utterly helpless. Today I watched Rylee's fever go up to 100*, her cough worsen, and her refuse her favorite foods and drinks. I saw Haylee - the one who was showing signs of getting better - take a turn for the worse by 5pm.

I burned infusers. I rubbed their chests with Vicks. I laid out their favorite drinks. I turned on the humidifier. I put them in loose blankets/sheets. I have put them in "methol" baths. In tempered baths. I rubbed. I soothed. I stroked. And still they have gone to bed worse than this morning.

This has been five days of coughing. This has been five days of slight fevers. This has been five days of slowly watching my Rylee - and now my Haylee - get worse. Why didn't I take them to the dr, you ask? Because I spoke to him yesterday morning on the phone - while Haylee was still doing better. He put them on a better expertorant and said to continue with the humidifiers, baths, vicks, etc.

So I did. And today I spent my day waiting and watching and praying and hoping.

No, I don't put my faith in medicine. But I have to believe that God has put it here for a reason. And the the doctor recommended it because he knew/thought it would work. So I waited. And watched. And sat on my hands. And held the bowl underneath their chins as they vomited from coughing too much.

I feel utterly and entirely helpless.

Tomorrow is a new day. I will be refreshed and stronger for both of them. And the doctors office will be open.

Sickie Days

Today is day 5 of sickies... so far we have started making VDay cards, made Jello, made homemade dairy-free chocolate pudding, and Betty Crockers Gluten-Free chocolate chip cookies.

What I have learned:

No matter how prepared I am, I still get their colds.

Betty Crocker makes pretty good Gluten-free Cookies

AND Three days without proper sleep makes for a cranky mommy

One new house rule was instituted in all of this: If you are well enough to get into trouble, you are well enough for a time out.

On to more things!

Sleeping Styles

It is said that when a young child, or a baby, sleeps with their arms over their heads that they are content/happy. I wonder if it means the same things when adults do it?

Today's lessons

Lesson #1: There are various types of cheesecloths; this tidbit is especially crucial when it comes to making homemade Ricotta. Yes, I did use the words "homemade" and "Ricotta" in the same sentence :) Tonight I decided to venture out there and make homemade Goat Ricotta with some left over goats milk I had in the fridge. Little did I know that the fine mesh cheesecloth was not the one I purchased. SO after boiling 4 cups of milk, I strained it through a cheesecloth. Needless to say, 3 3/4 cups went straight down the drain. YEP! My cheesecloth was apparently NOT fine mesh cheesecloth. All this to say, it is important to know the difference between regular and fine mesh cheesecloth.

Lesson #2: When making Gluten/Wheat-Free Chocolate Chip Pecan Caramel Cookies, it is good not to have the caramel chunks on the bottom of the cookie.... Most importantly though, the cookies don't rise and expand like normal cookies... good to know for next time.

Lesson #3: An truism that every chef, child, mother, grandmother and man knows... you DO NOT pick up a hot cookie sheet with a semi-dry - not really damp - towel. OUCH! If my husband was here he'd "lecture" me for being stupid.

Although despite the mishap on the cookies, they still look - to quote my daughter -
"Nummo-O!"