Isn't it funny how God puts people into our lives for a purpose, and that while we are receptive to hearing what God has lead the person(s) to say, we sometimes have a tendency to categorize it in the back of our minds for later until it festers and then there is nothing left you can do but face it head on? 

That scenerio has been a constant reoccurance in my life over the past 4 days. So much so that the file drawer I stuffed God's advice into BURST open this evening.  When the file drawer flew open, my back bristled and I began fighting!!! Isn't it funny how that happens when God pricks something we don't want to deal with.  God used someone, a very close friend of mine, as a vessle to remind me of that very important "lesson" I needed to learn. 

As if speaking through my close friend(s) wasn't enough, she has to go and hit me with her desire for me to join an accountablility group with her. I knew her intentions were heartfelt, and that she was already nervous that I was feeling judged, but man, was that a punch! My first thought was, why do I need accountability? I am already doing everything I can... and then, again, God smacked me. He reminded me that relationships were not 50/50 nor about how much time we spending doing this or that, but a relationship - side by side - period. That struck me upside the head. 

Now I was stewing, I am thinking of everything I could to show that I was/am doing what I was supposed to be doing. The "look at me... look at x" comparisions came flying out. Not in the holier-than-thou sense, but in the "what more do you want from me" sense. Yeah, God knocked me upside the head again when my friend replied "more". We talked off and on like this for about two and a half hours. When she left, I thanked her and I proceeded to call the one how started the prick -- my mother. She laughed and said ... hmmm that sounds familiar. As we talked she began showing me more insights that I needed to see. When I ended the conversation with my mom, she asked if my friend was going to hold me accountable -- isn't it amazing how God works! After I hung up the phone with my mom, I called my friend and asked that she, yes, indeed hold me accountable, but that I wasn't going willing into what I was supposed to do -  and thanked her, again, for being honest and open and loving me so much that she wanted something better for me and xxxx. 

 God continued to work on me as the night went on allowing me to handle what I needed to see and after much strgglling with God and myself I decided that - surprise - God was right. Now I am praying for a teachable and loving heart as I set out to love my husband in a new way.