Isn't it funny how God puts people into our lives for a purpose, and that while we are receptive to hearing what God has lead the person(s) to say, we sometimes have a tendency to categorize it in the back of our minds for later until it festers and then there is nothing left you can do but face it head on? 

That scenerio has been a constant reoccurance in my life over the past 4 days. So much so that the file drawer I stuffed God's advice into BURST open this evening.  When the file drawer flew open, my back bristled and I began fighting!!! Isn't it funny how that happens when God pricks something we don't want to deal with.  God used someone, a very close friend of mine, as a vessle to remind me of that very important "lesson" I needed to learn. 

As if speaking through my close friend(s) wasn't enough, she has to go and hit me with her desire for me to join an accountablility group with her. I knew her intentions were heartfelt, and that she was already nervous that I was feeling judged, but man, was that a punch! My first thought was, why do I need accountability? I am already doing everything I can... and then, again, God smacked me. He reminded me that relationships were not 50/50 nor about how much time we spending doing this or that, but a relationship - side by side - period. That struck me upside the head. 

Now I was stewing, I am thinking of everything I could to show that I was/am doing what I was supposed to be doing. The "look at me... look at x" comparisions came flying out. Not in the holier-than-thou sense, but in the "what more do you want from me" sense. Yeah, God knocked me upside the head again when my friend replied "more". We talked off and on like this for about two and a half hours. When she left, I thanked her and I proceeded to call the one how started the prick -- my mother. She laughed and said ... hmmm that sounds familiar. As we talked she began showing me more insights that I needed to see. When I ended the conversation with my mom, she asked if my friend was going to hold me accountable -- isn't it amazing how God works! After I hung up the phone with my mom, I called my friend and asked that she, yes, indeed hold me accountable, but that I wasn't going willing into what I was supposed to do -  and thanked her, again, for being honest and open and loving me so much that she wanted something better for me and xxxx. 

 God continued to work on me as the night went on allowing me to handle what I needed to see and after much strgglling with God and myself I decided that - surprise - God was right. Now I am praying for a teachable and loving heart as I set out to love my husband in a new way.

sometimes

I used to say we make plans, and God laughs. Now I know that that isn't true, but I am not sure what is (in regards to our planning). I planned a relaxing day on Monday (in fact I had fun making lemon cupcakes with my girls. I planned TONS of errands on Tuesday, and my daughters were wonderful! Wednesday I planned to go to WOW (Women of Wisdom) to start a new study on the Sermon of the Mount (and for the girls to see their friend, Ms. Donna, who they have been asking about for weeks); instead I spent the day taking 5 minute trips to hold back Haylee's hair and to watch the color from her face as her bottom joined the fun. Thursday I planned to go to MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) to apply to become a Discussion Group Leader and get tickets to the Summer Movie Fun program here. Instead, Rylee and I played while Haylee slept and threw up and watched as she got weaker and her bottom continued to join the fun. Friday I planned a quiet day at home to get some of the laundry that had piled up, folded and put away. I also hoped for a fun trip to the library for Music and Movement. Instead, I sat in the ER with Haylee. Saturday I planned to go to an herb gardening "class" at Watters Nursery with my mom and then out to lunch. Instead I awoke to a sick husband, a slightly better Haylee, and a Rylee with energy to spare.

I know that my whole week wasn't a wash, and yet this morning I awake and my spirit is crushed all because my plans had changed. I now find myself grateful for parents who have taken Rylee shopping (her favorite thing to do) so that I can do some things while my sickies rest (like write this blog). I am also grateful that neither Rylee nor myself are sick. . And I am grateful to have plenty of orders to keep myself and Rylee (in her pretend kitchen) busy this week.

I know we plan. I know God plans. And I know God can help me see His plan too. So I am praying so.

My spirit is tired, my flesh is weak, but my mind still praises God.

1,2,3 I'm counting sheep. Baah!

In four weeks Rylee and Haylee will be turning two years old. A part of me wonders where the time has gone, a third of me wonders if I am going to make it to four, and the rest is glad to be a mom.

It is AMAZING how a child's mind works. Some people say that women tangent to much running from one topic to another all in the same breath... apparently they haven't hung out with a two year old! LOL (Laugh out loud). Haylee and Rylee have now mastered the art of talking and throughly enjoy learning new words, pronunciations, and sentences. This new mimic feature of isn't always the greatest thing! For example, while Nana was over for lunch one day when Haylee ran out of juice and said "I want more juice, damn it!". The look on my mom's face was priceless. Then of course the look is followed by, I wonder who says that. Guilty as charged. I am happy to announce that Haylee and I HAVE NOT said since.

Haylee has demonstrated her art of sentence structure in other ways as well, in fact last week we were watching BabyFirstTV - an educational channel directed towards the cognitive, social, emotional, etc. development of children from 18 months to preschoolers - a counting show came on. Three sheep were on the screen and I heard the narrator slowly begin to count the sheep. The next thing I heard was Haylee saying, "1, 2, 3. I'm counting sheep. Baah!" Now mind you the narrator was still on sheep number two when Haylee began counting herself. I was very proud of her! Both girls continually surprise me with their sentences. Rylee now says "welcome" when someone says "thank you", and both are attempting to say the dog’s name, Princess. So far we have Princy, and Pincess. :)

Since we are not in Preschool yet, I am very happy to have shows like Super Why, Word World, Number Time, etc. to help reinforce what I try to teach them. Haylee can count to 10 and knows all of her ABCs. She even knows a little addition and subtraction but only with objects of 3. Rylee is doing great as well! She can count to 5, and has half of her alphabet down! The can both recognize letters of the alphabet ... well mostly from O to Z, but is a start!

Here are a few of my other favorite things:

• Haylee will say "exuse me" after she sneezes and says "ha-choo" instead of "bless you" when some else sneezes.
• One night at the park, Nana was showing Haylee the bark on the trees and after she touched the bark she looked at her hands and said, "Where's the soap?"
• When Rylee calls to someone she always says "come back!" and peeks around the corner to see if you are coming.
• When Rylee came out of time out and was asked if she was going to be good, she replied “no”. I instructed her that she needed to go back to her room, she did! She came out two minutes later and when asked the same question, she nodded her head yes and played.

Well, we have officially hit the terrible twos. Someone told me today that it wasn't the terrible twos, it was the terrific twos. While I thought her approach to this new phase in motherhood was interesting, I was laughing in my head. :) Albeit, yes, some days are terrific, and most are definitely terrible :). Granted my days are now a lot longer, nap time is now set at 1pm sharp… maybe 2 with some coaxing of snacks… bedtime is at 8pm sharp, wakeup call is at 5:45am, and any time in between that I want them to go down because they are tired is out of the question. Our time outs are now on our bed with our door closed, which really doesn’t matter since they can open it. Their temper tantrums are more dramatic as their world ends at the slightest shiver of indiscretion. Their laughter is more heart felt and their curiosity more fun. They pick up fast on manners and protocol and they have a knack for demonstrating the wrong thing to do at the weirdest times. For instance, I have a bad habit of using my shirt to wipe their nose. Now I don’t do it often, but apparently I do it often enough, because Rylee came up to me last night, climbed into my lap and took my shirt in her hands and wiped. Yeah, not pleasant. That habit stopped abruptly.

LOL.